Is This Cycle Over Now?

This week I'm totally into:
This week was all about TS's surgery. Last weekend we were doing all the things that needed to be done before he went under the knife. Getting dog food. Getting groceries (sick food) and clothes for him to wear (sweats) and making sure everything was under control.
Tuesday he went in, and then the anesthesiologist had him spend the night there. He was not happy. Wednesday he came home in the morning, and he is slowly recovering. It's good. I'm hopeful TS's surgery is the end of this awful year-long cycle that began this time last year with Cocoa disappearing. It's been a difficult year. It's time for a good cycle to begin!

This week I am avoiding:
I haven't been avoiding anything. I haven't been able to play WoW yet, but only because I have been so busy otherwise.

What else is going on:
Wednesday TS's dad mowed our lawn, so I weed-whacked and sprayed weed killer on the hot tub area and the driveway, and blackberry killer on the blackberry bushes. It was a day of poisonings. I'm also trying to be restrained in my spending, which is a little annoying. I am also thinking about our new puppy, and thinking of names for her/him.

The week ahead:
This week I will be working with the Visconti-Sforza deck, which is the "Ur" tarot deck for all practical purposes. I will be working a short week, since it's Memorial Day weekend. Even though it's my work weekend - that's okay. I plan to clean the house on Memorial Day, so I have my entire three-day weekend to myself. I plan to play and play and play.

Accomplishments:
Caught up on the laundry. I thought I had been a good caregiver to TS, but apparently that isn't so. Kept the house clean. Read tarot every day. Kept eating well and exercising. Wrote every day.

Weekly Gift:
This weeks gift was that TS made it through his surgery okay and is home. That's the best gift he could have given me.

Quote of the Week~

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have. Sandra Bernhard

One down, One to Go

This week the One Down is T.S's rush trip to California. Being gone is not his favorite thing. He worries about me getting home from work okay. I keep telling him "I am 45 years old. If I can't find my way home by now, I'm in big trouble." He still worries. It was fine. The other thing gone was the floors - almost. Someone TS knows was going to come on Wednesday to fix the carpet - so of course I got the house all clean and beautiful...and the guy forgot his tools. So now he's probably coming on Monday, the day before TS's surgery. Hopefully he will get it done, so we can get the living room back in order before the surgery. However, he is willing to do it, and for that, I am grateful, no matter when it finally happens. I could put the furniture back, but the thought of hooking up all those cords while TS directs gives me the cold shivers. Also this week I cleaned and cleaned (because of the guy) and did piles of laundry. I still have piles and mountains to go. BUT at least my washer and dryer are back, and I'm happy about that.

This week I am avoiding....
Thinking about driving home from TS's surgery. If I think about it, I will start freaking out - if I don't think about it I won't. Simple. I was also avoiding reading any of the books I have been looking forward to starting. I want something potentially good to read next week, during the surgery wait time.

What else is on my mind...
I am hoping my Bare Escentuals cosmetics are NOT what is causing my face to break out. Because I like them. It might be all that lovely floating white stuff in the air. I am also wanting to buy things, but I am waiting. I don't like to wait. I am also hoping not to be a mean nurse next week. TS keeps calling me "Nurse Ratchett" which makes me laugh and pisses me off simultaneously.

The week ahead....
Not so awful tarot deck this week, I hope, Legend, the Arthurian Tarot. Maybe a trip to Barnes and Noble in my future, just to make SURE I have enough to read. And Target, for a new Bag O' Tricks, if I can find one.. If I could sew, I would fix the old one. However - I cannot. What would I do? Make the inside out of chambray or something. Maybe I should talk to a sewer.
I am also going to continue my eating well/exercising/water drinking.

Accomplishments....
Did really well on my eating well/exercising/water drinking. Didn't get sulky about riding bus home. (This was a major milestone for me.) Finished with the Feng Shui Tarot. Nice Art, not great to read with. Only cried about Magic twice.

Weekly Gift...

The only one I needed - the floors are done, and my house is almost back to normal.

Quote of the week

"The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda. "

Heywood Broun

Just a small note. TS is much better at using the sewing machine than I am.

How typical.

Stress Sometimes Reaches the Sticking Point

This week I was totally into....

Finding out about TS's ear surgery. Even though what he's having surgery for now is different than his original surgery - it's still surgery. So, I stressed myself out. It's been just a horrid month. 1 month since Magic died. 3 weeks of my house being under construction, so far. TS's nephew and his broken back. (He is okay.) A lot of stuff going on at work. It was just TOO MUCH. So, I nearly had a panic attack. Luckily, I knew what it was, but it was bad. I don't stress out like that, but it was just the final twig.

This week I am avoiding....
Actually, I am avoiding most everything. Cleaning, because what is the point except for the roach-aways (dishes, cleaning the toilets, throwing out the garbage and recycling). I also avoided eating well, because I need vast amounts of chocolate when I am stressed, (and maybe hormonal) and exercising, because I just am. I wish I could avoid the cruddy tarot deck I used this week.

What else is on my mind....
The war. I am tired of our soldiers getting killed. I just am. I want them home. Talk politics to me until you are blue, but this was a wrong war to start with in my opinion, and now it's time to let go. Also, I am worried about both Tink and Nemo. I want them both to go to the vet and get check ups. Too many dead pets this year. I miss my Magic.
My blogs, and how much fun I have writing them. My time frame for new stuff.
I am buying probably five new Tarots this month. They are already pre-ordered. One of which I have been waiting for for over 4 years.
Next month I am buying the rest of my new make-up. I am using Bare Escentuals now, and I really like it. As long as I keep liking it, next month I will get the beyond the basics face kit, and an eye kit.
In July I am going to order the 7 X10 inch journals that I have to buy in bulk. I really like them. They are where I keep my tarot reviews, and once I have them in my hot little hands, I can start tarot journaling again.

The week ahead.....
After this weekend I will have a veritable mountain of laundry to do. If the floor gets done. I would like to do some yard work. Also, I want to get the house clean by next weekend (floor permitting) so TS and I can have a chill weekend before his surgery. Planning for that. I am a planner.

Accomplishments....
This week my accomplishment was I made it through without taking any days off, and without stressing myself out to the max.

Weekly Gift....
Back rub, even though TS was really sore himself.

Quote of the Week....

If I had to give young writers advice, I would say don't listen to writers talking about writing or themselves.

Lillian Hellman

Okaaay, so I was wrong about May

This week I was totally into...

I guess I was into writing. I wrote a lot in my blogs. I wrote in my journal. I played around with my stories. I toyed with the idea of starting a new blog, and I started four new blogs. Aside from that, I was mostly preoccupied with TS's medical stuff, like the fact he may have to have surgery. Also with the realization that the skinny fairy isn't going to come along and whap me with her magic wand, so I'm going to have to do something about that, or ELSE.

This week I was avoiding....

I kind of avoided starting my new eating program, and exercising. There was still too much ice cream in the house. But now there is nothing but TS's ice cream, so I am done with that.

What else is on my mind....

Magic. I still miss him every day. I still cry sometimes, at the strangest moments. Writing. Names for our new puppy. The floors. Ken's ear. When all the stuff I ordered last week will start arriving. I could use a little Christmas, even though they are no surprise. Finding the photos my niece wants to use in her report. I will also be looking for pet photos for my pet blogs.

The week ahead...

This weekend TS will be working on the floor, because if he does have surgery it will be 6 weeks before he can lift anything heavier than 5 lbs. So, the floors have to be at least finished so we can walk on them - forget the new flooring and walls until post-surgery.

I am working with the Lord of the Rings Tarot. It is not the best deck I have ever used. In fact, it might be the worst one, INCLUDING the starter tarot. That is saying a lot.

Accomplishments.....

I got the laundry completely done again - and this time the washer and dryer really are out for the count. I cleaned the house, as much as it can be cleaned under construction. I wrote a lot. I already said that, but it counts. I made it to work every day.

Weekly Gift....

Chocolate.

Quote of the week....

If you are going to build something in the air it is always better to build castles than houses of cards.

Georg C. Lichtenberg