24th Anniversary Today - Dying Pets

T.S. and I have been married 24 years today.

Although I got my Strat, this has not been a good anniversary. Or a good week, particularly.

My dog Suzie probably has cancer. We found out yesterday. I am hoping it's just an abcessed tooth - but they think it's cancer. I had always hoped she would die in her sleep someday. That we wouldn't be faced with the decisions coming soon.

Because, there has to be a line in the sand when an animal is terminally ill. When is it time?

With previous pets who have been ill we have changedthe line. The dog we had for fourteen years who was a HELL dog, we put to sleep before we really needed to. He wasn't in pain, but we had to take him to the vet every few months to get tumors removed. Finally we decided it was time.

Mischa, our cat with kidney failure, our line was when he couldn't control his bowels anymore. Not because he was messing up our house, but because it made him miserable. And, he didn't feel good more than he felt good. We gave him IV's at home, fed him special food, but as long as he felt good more days than not, it was worth it to have time for us to say goodbye.

Our other animals were more immediate. Tasha, Bonzai, and Tor were all so ill they were euthanized during the vet visit. All of them had things that we were trying to cure, but ended up going bad. Our other cats were probably eaten by coyotes, all but Squirt, who I still think was stolen. Pip the bird got eaten by Bonzai. (My fault. I still feel horrible about that and it's been over 10 years ago.)

Our little animals all died of old age, Cheerio, Spot, Waco, Spike, Opie.

Now, it's Suzie's turn. We got her from the pound. She was four years old. She is a Rottweiler, German Shephard Dog mix. I had reservations, but Ken had fallen in love with her. Finally, it was her last day before the Big Sleep. We took her. She turned out to be one of the best dogs we've ever had. She's 14 now, 108 in human years for a dog her size.

My line in the sand - when the good days out number the bad. Already before this cancer thing we have been talking about her eventual demise. Her hind legs are a little shakey. Yes, she can get up and down fine, but some days it takes her a long time. Her eyes shine, and sometimes she still bounces up and down on her front feet. Some days she still prances the way she did the first time we took her out of her cage at the pound. But mostly, she sleeps, or lays on the cool floor. Nemo, our other dog, checks on her once in awhile. He no longer comes to get her when there's something going on outside. She's still the boss, but he's taking over some of her patrolling jobs.

We will still have Nemo, Kiel, Tinkerbell, Turdie and Ernie, and the fish of course. And Suzie will be around for awhile. But it's time to start saying my goodbyes.